He reminded me that I love the gasp of delight that comes when I encounter unexpected goodness or joy. It feels a bit like jumping impetuously off a rocky ledge on a summer-hot day only to be engulfed by the startling cold water of a mountain lake. The joy of feeling comes partly from the sharpness of that initial pain.
In some way that describes what I felt when I first read my friend Sarah's essay "Pregnant Thoughts in the Afternoon." It elicited that gasp as it cut me to the quick with this
[C]ruising through the culture-doused streets of Paris with nagging anxieties about my future clawing into what should have been a care-free vacation with a good friend (whose rich "uncle" was paying for the whole shebang!). While I should have been joyfully diving into patisseries and appreciating only the layers of butter and air, I was worrying about that whole husband thing. Would I ever meet him? The One? Would I be too flawed for him to love me back? There were no prospects at the time and while I was prepared to run to him with open arms, I had serious doubts that he actually existed.
She had articulated my own thrumming thoughts and the often incessant whirl of doubts in my own head. She just did it so well that I nearly missed the real point of her post. And I don't want you to miss it either.
So, take a minute to digest it for yourself. You might be surprised by joy just like me.