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Tuesday, February 3, 2009

I Really Can't Say

I have lots to say or lots to write. I just don't want to say any of it and jinx myself out of action at the moment. What action, you ask? I will tell you in a minute. In the meantime, 

I don't want to say:
  • That I have a cold right now and have played the dramatic heroine to a fault for the last 24 hours--lying around on my couch, moaning piteously, crying abruptly and generally making myself even more miserable than necessary. 
  • That I inherited said cold from one of the 32 relatives I just spent the weekend holed up with on our annual "cabin trip." Late-night movies, constant snacking, and too little sleep. And let me tell you, a roaring chest cold was worth the fun. 
  • That my family has a love of nicknames that is unparalleled. And I made a list this weekend of a few that are used with wild abandon: Chardo, Clinny, Dude, Speed, Fatty, Jamie Jr., Snockley, Spook, Jorgito, Buggy, Rosen, Berfie, Dauwwin, Ruby, Bubba and SuperMave. And that's just a few. Now, can you guess which one is mine? 
  • That my great, big, fat surprise is about to be unveiled. Except no one will really think it was such a surprise. Or that it is was so big. But let's just say it was a herculean effort for me. 
  • That I really did stick to this allergy diet (remember no wheat, dairy, sugar, preservatives, peanuts, soy, corn or citrus--in case I haven't trumpeted that list enough yet) for the entire trip despite feeling magnetically drawn towards every can of Pringles and willing to make an unholy alliance with the Swedish fish. I didn't resist either. I just promised a future play date. 
  • That despite all of my efforts to abstain, when I purchased some "all-natural" cough drops in the valley of my cold-induced zombie state yesterday, I thought I purchased the no-sugar ones. Only to suck down the entire bag in 18 hours and then discover that the number one ingredient on the bag: sugar. I'm hoping we can just pretend the little blip doesn't count against me on the two-month allergy-free diet thingy.
  • That I really did have a genuine "fat" moment in the health food store the other day when I was hunting down some wheat-free bread. One sweet little Scottish lady started talking to me about her own search for the perfect gluten-free bread (she has celiac disease) and I was feeling the love and the sisterhood for a few minutes only for her to veer the conversation into how much weight I will lose if I stick with it and then I sat frozen in time for the next ten minutes while she waxed rhapsodic about how she lost 30 pounds and it CHANGED HER LIFE and I will obviously lose vast amounts of weight too. Which means she totally understands the boat I'm in and how my life WILL CHANGE FOREVER too. Needless, to say I took my little cruise-ship self and sailed as far away from her as I could all the while wishing desperately that I had retrofitted myself with weapons of mass destruction and could blow her little rowboat out of the water. 
  • That my experiment in making olive cheese bread with brown rice flour bread and almond cheese did not equal the delights promised by the photo. And on to the next cooking adventure. 
  • That a once-in-a-lifetime event did occur this past Sunday. My parents were treated to instrumental heaven when each of their eight children came together to a perform a song in their honor on the instruments we had learned in childhood: a tenor sax, a trumpet, an alto sax, a flute, 2 guitars, the piano and a violin. It lasted about two minutes and my mother was beaming the rest of the day. I think she realized that not every penny they spent on music lessons had been wasted. At least not if we could put that kind of smile on her face fifteen years later. 
  • That my father is a true romantic. When I assisted him in ordering flowers for his and my mother's anniversary, he nearly gasped when I quoted him the price for 40 roses. And I had tried to dampen the blow by underestimating the cost. Yet, despite the gasp and the almost auditory scraping of his economic bones together, all that came out of his mouth was "Your mother is worth every penny." And my heart sang with renewed hope in true love that day. 
  • That my gorgeous mother and my excellent father celebrated 40 years of marriage this past weekend. And we are the lucky, lucky fruit of that blessed union. 
  • That I have very big test this week. And lots more studying to do. 
  • That I've probably said too much already and should be in bed. Especially with this cold. 
  • That having such a cold really does garner some great sympathy when you speak with a raspy, whispery voice, cough repeatedly and sneeze gratuitously on anyone within spitting distance. People leave you alone in such a condition. You can really get a lot of work done when they do that. 
So, what is the action I don't want to jinx myself out of that I referred to waaaaaay back at the beginning of this post? An action, I'm afraid my readers may have suspected would never materialize: A return to the Denmark posts! Yes, every excruciating detail and inside joke is about to be yours for the small price of waiting sooooo long for me to resume the story. You too can join in while my wild and wooly clan traverses the kingdom of the Danes and experiences this coastal, green, magical land for the first time. 

Day 5 is coming! 

Just one little caveat. As if there haven't been enough so far. First it was school, then my birthday, then my house was a mess, then I had a nervous breakdown, then I wanted to quit my job, then it was the day after my birthday, then I barely survived the one-two punch of finals and Christmas, then it was after Christmas, then I had to start this allergy-free thing, then I had to plan for the cabin trip and on and on and on. 

But I really do have a caveat despite all the previous excuses I have come up with. The test this week. I may not publish Day 5 until that is completed. If I don't, then you know I'm just acting the part of busy little beaver and trying to stay on task with my test (cross your fingers and your toes for that one) or if I do post Day 5 before this weekend you will know that I'm doing everything in my power to avoid studying for that test. And nothing takes up my time like combing minutely over a big blog post from the Denmark trip. 

So, to get you all fired up for the return of the Denmark Chronicles, here are the first four days for your perusing pleasure:

See you soon! And remember to cross your fingers and toes for one busy little beaver. 

2 comments:

Lori Sume said...

Eden, watch out with that health food store...i think odd, off the wall, twilight zone moments happen there... a lady i used to work with said to me one day at work, "oh you just must not want to get married." at the time i really took offense to that statement. but after a while forgot it. Though i wanted to blurt out, "no, it is just that no one has asked me." so then almost to the day, a year later, that same woman saw me at the health food store, and it was like a wacky rewinding machine with polkadots all over it from Dr. Suess was in front of me because she said the exact same thing to me again. Just bizarre. All it did was make me feel like i didn't fit in. But i have chosen to ignore the thoughts she conjured up in my soul. i am who i am. just like you are who you are. And that celiac woman needs to mind her own tongue. i hate it when someone feels uncomfortable or hurt. I have said this to you before and still stand by it....you are beautiful and amazing!!!! no question. And no one really knows another person's life or struggles. we are all here on earth each going through different things. not sure if this helped at all...but we are all here to help each other and do our best and smile that the sunshine comes through most days. that is what i do sometimes.
by the way, that is the sweetest about what your dad said about buying those flowers for your mom. oh, to have someone do that for me! can't even imagine it.

Flying monkey clan said...

I love your posts and I love you!

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