Modern-Day Diet

A quote from a book review regarding our modern American diet.

"Besides the paucity of good fats, the near hegemony of industrialized foodstuffs in the modern diet, devoid of nearly everything except sugar, salt, toxic oils, and devitalized flours, has helped to create an undernourished population primed for . . . maladies."

from review of Addiction: The Hidden Epidemic by Pam Killeen, reviewed by Katherine Czapp

When we start off our day with processed, sugary cold cereals paired with homogenized, pasteurized skim milk from cows shot full of antibiotics and hormones, continue on to a fast food lunch made from factory-farmed beef with highly processed cheese on a white flour bun and paired with a favorite soda and potatoes fried in vegetable oils and then round the day out with a dinner that features another slab of meat injected with antibiotics and hormones along with a white potatoes or rice, a side of corn or peas as well as a white flour roll and finished off with a bowl of ice cream doused in high-fructose corn syrup chocolate topping we have the makings of the modern America diet. This doesn't even include the bags of potato chips, candy bars, coffee, soda, or sugary snacks that dot the hours between each of our meals. Is it any wonder that we are struggling to feel good, our children are riddled with chronic diseases and each generation is sicker than the last?

The exciting thing is that now we know. We know that these foods are not good for us and now we can make the changes. That is what inspires me.

Good Food, Good Health

I love food. 

You too? I love the caramelized onions with red potatoes that we had for dinner the other day, a perfectly runny egg with sausage for breakfast, and that berry spinach smoothie I made yesterday afternoon. I like food. I like the smell of dinner cooking when I open the door at night, I like the juices dripping off the coconut chicken so that it dribbles down my chin, I like crisp crunch of a Fuji apple in the middle of the afternoon. 

Food is fun. It tastes good, it brings people together, it is an endless source of variation, interest and conversation. 

Yummy food! Blessed food! Good food!

I'm planning on sharing more recipes here, more of my thoughts on food and just more about my love of all things regarding health, nutrition and food.

For now listen to this excellent talk by Robyn O'Brien--a food analyst who once saw food only as a commodity and now sees it as a pathway to health. One of her four kids had a major allergic reaction to breakfast one morning and Ms. O'Brien's whole life changed. She talks about what is in our food and why she had to change what her family ate once she realized food's impact on them.

Enjoy!

Debunking the Fat Myth

image via herbalsupplementreview.com

Here are a few must-reads and things to look at in reference to the myths surrounding obesity, heart disease and diabetes. Ground-breaking, enriching, thought-provoking ideas. I only share the best of the best.

1. The paradigm-shifting quote from Gary Taubes' book.

Of all the dangerous ideas that health officials could have embraced while trying to understand why we get fat, they would have been hard-pressed to find one ultimately more damaging than calories-in/calories-out. That it reinforces what appears to be so obvious--obesity as the penalty for gluttony and sloth--is what makes it so alluring. But it's misleading and misconceived on so many levels that it's hard to imagine how it survived unscathed and virtually unchallenged for the last fifty years.


It has done incalculable harm. Not only is this thinking at least partly responsible for the ever-growing numbers of obese and overweight in the world--while directing attention away from the real reasons we get fat--but it has served to reinforce the perception that those who are fat have no one to blame but themselves. That eating less invariably fails as a cure for obesity is rarely perceived as the single most important reason to make us question our assumptions, as Hilde Bruch suggested a half century ago. Rather, it is taken as still more evidence that the overweight and obese are incapable of following a diet and eating in moderation. And it puts the blame for their physical condition squarely on their behavior, which couldn't be further from the truth.

------p. 81 Why We Get Fat by Gary Taubes

2. An insightful article "Is Sugar Toxic?"  in the New York Times Magazine on sugar and its effect on not only obesity but every person's long-term health. Loved this read! I literally soaked up every single word.


3. A 90-minute video entitled "Sugar: The Bitter Truth" by Dr. Robert Lustig an pediatric endocrinologist. He treats obese children and explains in depth the devastating effects of sugar on not only ourselves but our children as well.





This kind of information fills me up with a gospel-like zeal. I want to shout it to the world! Look at this! It is amazing! How exciting is this research? What an eye-opener! What a wonder!

I've struggled with the chubby factor most of my life. And I've read nearly everything I can about it. I've had a few AH-HA moments along the way. This is one of them. I felt like this book, article, and video synopsized so much of what I have learned the last year or two. They made me happy down to my TOES. I love, love, love insight and wisdom and light.

Take a look for yourself. Maybe you will find something enlightening as well.

To My Skinny . . .

I vacillate about writing about this topic on my blog. But this little essay I wrote still speaks to me several days later so I am sharing. I wrote most of this letter after I finished reading the book Why We Get Fat by Gary Taubes. That book seemed to solidify for me some thoughts I have had the last few years regarding weight and obesity and their contribution to self-worth. This is not a review of that book but rather a collection of unfiltered and incomplete thoughts inspired by what I read. 


To my skinny brothers and sisters, 

I have felt for most of my life that being fat was my fault. That is what conventional dietary wisdom taught me: a calorie in and a calorie out. I was fat because I consumed more calories then I expended. Therefore, as the wisdom goes, I need to consume less and exercise more. Sounds correct, right? 

It also presumes that anyone who is fat is that way because they are greedy, lazy and slothful. They eat too much, they are too sedentary or lazy. A conclusion I also believed. Why did I come defective? How come the way I did it was wrong? Why couldn't I figure out how to be healthy and not lazy, slothful or greedy? 

There were years of thinking that emotional eating must be at the root of all of this. I did binge. I did eat lots of treats sometimes. I even ate lots of food sometimes. It must be because I was somehow defective again that I couldn't control myself. That was the message I heard over and over and over again. 

I don't remember when I quit believing it but sometime in the last few years that kind of thinking started to make me really, really mad. I saw skinny people--lots of them--eat huge amounts of food, terrible, awful junk food and never gain an ounce. They looked lean. But not me. I could eat fruits, veggies, whole grains, protein, little fat and exercise like a demon and I would lose some weight but it seemed like I was always semi-starving, needed to exercise a couple of hours or more a day and still it was going to be a lifelong battle to keep it all in check because one little slip and it took vast amounts of energy to get back on that band wagon. And no matter how much weight I lost or how successful I was doing it, I would regain it all sometimes it seemed just by BREATHING. 

One of the reasons I have resisted the idea of bariatric surgery is that I've always wanted to figure out MY BODY, my system, my health. It led to me to reading and studying all kinds of things that "conventional wisdom" told me were wrong. And really for a several years I just gave up. I was going to be blamed for being fat anyway so I might as well enjoy it, right? Being obese is not a defect you can hide in the closet, you wear it around with you every day; and in our cultural climate that means that anyone can offer their advice on how to solve your problem. It has made for some interesting conversations.  

Anyway, all of that was preamble to this book: Why We Get Fat by Gary Taubes. If what this book talks about is really truth then my entire paradigm on health has shifted. 

Let's say that I was born with a body that is just as healthy and lean as anyone else's body when fed the correct foods. Let's say though that my body's version of good food (food that will turn into energy and not fat) is exclusively proteins, good fats, veggies and some fruit. Everything else (beans, legumes, grains, sugar, starches, etc) tend to make me gain weight. That has always sounded a bit crazy to me or like Atkins where people eat steak and bacon and have bad breath all day, but now I'm beginning to believe that there may just be an answer to all of this "how do I lose weight" and "how to I keep it off forever" and maybe it just isn't as crazy as I once thought. 

I hesitate to think that this is a complete answer. I wish it was but I have read too many things in the past that I thought were "the answer" to really believe this will solve the total problem. But it may. Or it may be a really big part of the answer.

And even that part gives me hope. 

Health Round Up: March 2010

I've been in a bit of an incubation period lately. So many thoughts have been rolling around in my head for the last several months about health that I almost don't know where to begin.

Suffice it to say that in many ways I've decided to embrace my inner tree hugger. The more I study health and try to solve my own health issues, the more I am pulled deeply into a world of fresh, whole, real foods. The less packaging the better. The more natural the better. I look for local, organic and fresh in my food plans. What excites me about this process right now is that my mom and sister have been experimenting a bit as well and I love the synergy of learning things together and making delicious, yummy food that tastes great and is great for my body. Who knew that health could be so much fun???

I am, once again in my life, on a giant learning curve. I feel enthused and inspired by health one day and overwhelmed and vexed by all the changes the next day. But all in all I can't get enough. I've always been a bit higher on the learning side of things than the doing side so I'm really focusing on doing now and not just learning.

Here are some of the changes I've been incorporating in my life and some readings that have helped me along the way.

1. Buying raw milk: I've never been much of a milk consumer. I think I stopped drinking milk as a teenager and I've never taken up the habit again. I pretty much gave up cereal around that time too. I think I can count on one hand the number of times I have purchased a gallon of milk since I moved out on my own in college. I've always used other types of milk: rice milk, soy milk, almond milk and during the last couple of years coconut milk. My pantry is well stocked with almond milk and coconut milk but now I've purchased raw milk a few times in the last several months. Yummy! It makes me think about when we had a milk cow on our little farm in Burley and drinking fresh, creamy milk chilled to perfection. Maybe that's why I've never quite been able to stomach the pasteurized, homogenized variety on store shelves. This fresh-from-the-source milk just tastes so gooood!

2. Bought my first CSA vegetable share from a local farm: I am so excited about this. Lots of veggies, all organic and local and fresh from the vine. Most people agree there is just something different about eating a food fresh from its source--something that hasn't been picked early, wrapped in plastic and transported thousands of miles to hopefully ripen under the yellowish hue of fluorescent lights in your local big-box grocery store.

3. Working on purchasing pastured chicken, pork and beef from another local farmer: This excites me too. To know the source of my food, that I'm supporting my local economy and that I'm feeding my body the best nature has to offer. Animals that have been fed on natural grasses are full of omega 3s and a different kind of fat than the marbley white fat that we are all so used to seeing in our meat. That fat develops because beef are fed a heavy grain diet which allows them to pack on pounds quickly. When you look at grass-fed beef, the meat is not as marbled and the fat is more of a yellow color and much smaller.

4. Read a great blog NourishedKitchen.com that was featured on CNN in early March. This blogger had a real foods challenge with her readers for a month where everyone ate only foods that were local, fresh and not packaged. Can you imagine not consuming any packaged food for a month? Not a bit of packaged food at all? It was kind of inspiring to read what they made and how they ate for that month.

I'm working on incorporating more and more real foods in my life. I'm thrilled with some of the great recipes that have been coming into my life because of this research. I hope to be able to share more and more of those over the next few months.

In the meantime, here is one I plan on testing out this week with some great root vegetables, small red potatoes and a whole chicken. It comes from one of my favorite food bloggers, Elise, over at simplyrecipes.com and is titled "Keller's Roast Chicken." Anyone want to try it out with me?

Food Allergy or Intolerance? And Update on My Own Journey

Here is a great little primer from Oprah's website on food allergies in children and the difference between a food allergy and a food intolerance. Food intolerances are not life-threatening where as most food allergies are life-threatening. Thus the appropriate vigilance at schools and in our communities for children who suffer from food allergies.

Food intolerances cause discomfort and pain but do not threaten your life. I have food intolerances. I have called them food allergies in the past because I wasn't terribly clear on the distinction myself, but I vow to be more precise in my language from now on.

I haven't mentioned my food intolerances since May and June. I am still abiding by what I called "the allergy-free diet" and what I think would now be better named "the intolerance-free diet"--except that name doesn't have quite the same ring to it. Really, I just eat a lot of veggies, fruit, meat, some whole grains, nuts, seeds and lentils. And coconut flour, coconut milk and coconut ice cream. And almond flour chocolate chip cookies. Hmmm, coooookies. I'm suddenly hungry for cookies.

I experimented some this summer with my food intolerances. Okay, and by "some," I mean a whole lot. For most of the month of July (and a good chunk of August) I went back to my wheat-eating, dairy-eating, sugar-eating previous lifestyle. Initially, I was just going to challenge the elimination diet I had been on, but it turned into a bit of a free-for-all instead.

There is just some screw that turns in my brain when I start eating those foods and I don't know how to turn it off. It feels strong and powerful and it sets me on this physical roller coaster that takes weeks to turn around. And yet, when I'm on the roller coaster, I forget so quickly how much better I was feeling. It may not make sense or sound logical but it is a very visceral experience for me. And going off those foods feels a bit like getting over a drug addiction (at least I imagine!). When I'm in that vortex or on that wild roller coaster, I can't foresee my life without wheat, dairy, sugar. I can't imagine the sterile, pale existence that will be mine if I can't eat them every day. And yet, about three weeks after I've gone off all of them, my life feels calm and peaceful and my energy is good again and I don't have intense cravings all day long.

I'm not going to assume this will be my life forever. That's too hard to think about right now. But it is my life for now. And, surprising most of all, I'm loving it. Or at least, I seem to be enjoying the ride. As long as I just keep reminding myself where I end up when I go off this path.

A Look at Hunger

This was an attempt I made at more lyrical, poetic writing. It is a look at hunger--mostly physical but certainly applies to spiritual, emotional hunger. Really, I had about three weeks where I was hungry all the time and I wasn't cooking great food and I was just kind of existing. Since I now have to make nearly everything I eat from scratch--no convenience foods--I sometimes just get exhausted from cooking and it is easier not to cook sometimes and just go hungry. This is something that came out of that struggle.

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My hunger is a sharp thing. It sits in the pit of my stomach, at the back of my mind, in the tense light of each of my waking hours. Relentless, unbidden, persisting. Ever present.

I try to assuage its pangs with food. I feed the sharpness, I cool the hot thirst, I stop and acknowledge its presence.

My hunger does not leave.

It rakes my belly most days through the ticking of the clock and the white heat of a shining day. It accompanies me into the dark hours of night and snakes its way from the soft folds of my center up through my chest, behind my eyes, throughout my brain.

Pulsing.

Beating.

Living.

My muscles tense, my head aches, I seek comfort and solace away from this growling burden, this constant pull inside of me. I push it away hoping it will disappear.

It does not.

It slices neatly through my meager defenses, assaulting me through the thrum of my heart with words that batter me.

I am so hungry.

I am so hungry.

I am so hungry.

I must spend time, hours, days attending to its pressing need, its near-stifling presence, its overwhelming load.

Feed me. I am so hungry.

In morning, its sharpness is muted, softer in its approach. Exhausted from its pursuit, I unwisely ignore its gentle reminders and benign probings, glad for a break as I throw it a morsel here or a drink there. It roars to life again within hours rearing its tyrannical head as my day progresses, beating every other thought out of my consciousness.

I succumb to its violence, its heat, its oppression. I seek to soothe, to calm, to comfort through taste, texture, smells and colors. Sometimes it abates allowing these things to sate its appetite. Allowing me some peace and solace from its clawing, voracious need.

Those are the days I breathe with joy.

Other days I cannot contain it, approach it or help it.

Those are the days it seems my hunger may end up eating me.

Hidden Food Allergies

"Now we know that chronic inflammation, caused primarily by exposure to incompatible foods, is at the root of metabolic problems like diabetes, cardiovascular disease and obesity. The immune system chemicals block insulin receptors; so, guess what happens to the sugars we eat? They get stored as fat. Cut the inflammation, cut the fat storage," said Roger Deutsch, co-author of the excellent book, "Your Hidden Food Allergies Are Making You Fat."

Cooking Up a Storm

The last few days have been filled with food, food, and more food. I have been cooking and I've been having a blast. I've been cooking for a variety of reasons but the best part of it is I've been cooking for others. I love experimenting in the kitchen and trying out different foods but once I've run through a recipe a couple of times, I want to try it out and see if it is a success for others too. 

Let me acknowledge once again in all of my cooking now how much of a debt of gratitude I owe to my favorite food blogger, Elana, at elanaspantry.com. Nearly 90% of these recipes come from her site with a few modifications here and there by me. She got me excited again about cooking and eating because she taught me through her blog that I could make food that was delicious and appetizing even with my food sensitivities. I owe her much for sharing all of her scrumptious recipes. She's got a great gluten-free cookbook coming out this summer that you can pre-order if you like, so check it out. I can't wait to get my copy. 

Monday I cooked because my sweet, multi-talented brother Adam came and put up three curtain rods and a towel rod for me. He keeps telling me that if I get a great drill I could do it myself. I keep telling him I would miss seeing his face. :) So, Adam and Michelle brought their little girl and Michelle's sister and we did dinner and FHE together. Of course, we girls chatted up a storm while Adam did the work but I think everyone had a good evening and we got to pull my table out from the wall and put it to good use. 

Menu for Monday night was 

• BBQ chicken
  
• crash hot potatoes
  
• spring salad with chopped almonds and apples and Elana's awesome ranch dressing
• asparagus sauteed in olive oil
• fresh strawberries and pineapple
• vanilla cupcakes

Tuesday was our monthly supper club with a group of friends where we each cook a dish around a theme and bring it to supper club and then eat and chat the night away. I was hosting for the month of May and since it was gluten-free night and most people are not gluten-free, I did a little extra cooking just so everyone could try out a variety of dishes. We had a great turn out, several people brought some excellent recipes and my favorite patio was put to good use. 

Menu for Tuesday night

• Rosemary apple chicken
• roasted veggies
• fresh strawberries
• Elana's chocolate chip cookies
• vanilla cupcakes with chocolate frosting
• blueberry muffins

Then last night I had to use some ground turkey I had had in the fridge for a few days and I made spinach turkey burgers. In all of my cooking, my mom and my sister are my ad hoc test kitchen so I will run food over to them to taste and try together. Despite all of that testing, I had not ever made my spinach turkey burgers or my special sauce for Meg, so I wanted her to try them both. She's a very receptive audience to all of my cooking attempts so I wanted to get her reaction to them. Then she had been asking for smoked paprika almonds again, so I whipped up a batch of those too. 

While I was cooking, Mom stopped by to try the leftovers from supper club. I love talking food with both of them because Mom had a few ideas for tweaking the blueberry muffins a bit and I had figured out a way I wanted to modify the cookies a bit and Meg had made the ranch dressing herself twice and we could compare notes. Cooking is always a collaborative effort whether it is over the stove or at the table and it is fun to experiment and try things together. 

Katy came by one night when I was knee-deep in cupcake batter and loving every second of it. She tasted and tried and even ran to the store for a last-minute item that I needed. In the midst of the hustle bustle she stopped and said, "Isn't cooking fun? It feels like an art to me some days like here is my oil painting or this is my watercolor" and I had to agree. That feeling isn't there every night but on the nights it does descend on me in the kitchen--well, it's pure magic. 

What kind of magic have you created in your kitchen lately? 

Food Friday

via funwallpaper.blogspot.com

Are you all tired of hearing about my allergy-free diet? I got the most comments on the photos from my recent trip to Massachusetts so it makes me wonder if I'm boring you to tears when I talk about all things health. I've got to admit that besides school and work, the other topic that consumes my mind endlessly is health, my health, your health, our health and how to get healthier.

So much to learn. So little time it seems.

I'm starting my fifth month on the allergy-free diet. All that really means is that I'm eating more of the things that are good for me and less of the things that I've long suspected give me a bit of trouble. Slowly over the last several weeks, I've felt my energy build and build and build to a point that I feel more alive and whole than I've felt in a long, long time. Not to overstate the case but I feel like I've discovered a secret long hidden and long wondered about in my life--what it means to feel good on a daily basis.

Is this how the rest of you live life on a regular, daily basis? Because I've got to tell you that having energy like this feels like a rock star life. And the universe has been holding out on me for far too long. I could get addicted to feeling this way each and every day of my life.

Now, I'm human and I know that I'm going to experiment, test the boundaries and generally push my own buttons to confirm what I've learned so far. I know that just because I feel spectacular for one day or even for many days in a row does not guarantee that this feeling will continue unabated ad infinitum. I'm just going to be okay with the process wherever it leads and whatever I learn from it.

And for now, that means the allergy-free diet is staying.

At some point in the future, whether in three weeks or three months or three years, I'm going to do the second phase of the allergy diet which means challenging each of the foods that I have a sensitivity to and trying them each one by one for a twenty-four period and then waiting three days to see if I experience any negative consequences from that particular food item. For now though, I mostly want to focus on feeling good and not worry about the second phase just yet.

I went to the doctor today and confirmed that this lifestyle change is having a marvelous effect on my overall health as well as my particular health issues. Yeah! Take that metabolic syndrome and PCOS! I've finally found a secret weapon. And it tastes goooood.

On my trip to MA, Amy and I spent a lot of time being foodie friends and discussing all things yummy and tantalizing. I'm continually surprised by Amy and her sister Kate's natural, intuitive leanings toward not only good health but good food too. Good food is fun with them. And good food is really, really yummy with them.

So, in the spirit of simple, warm, yummy food here is a very easy recipe for roasted veggies that Amy made one day. I've done a version of this recipe before but Amy has a magical touch and these veggies and potatoes came out tasting so yummy that I've made this simple dish at least twice since I've been home. Pair it with roasted chicken or spinach turkey burgers and a big salad and you've got a spectacular meal.

RECIPE: Roasted Veggies and Potatoes

1 yam or sweet potato

2-3 red potatoes

1 large Vidalia or sweet onion

1 red pepper

light or virgin olive oil

extra virgin olive oil (only used after veggies are cooked)

sea salt or kosher salt

Slice and quarter the yam and red potatoes. Slice the onion into long, thin strips. Slice the red pepper after removing the seeds and stem. Put everything in a bowl and toss with regular or light virgin olive oil until veggies are well coated. Layer in a 9x13 glass baking dish and salt then bake at 350 degrees for one hour. Pull out pan once during baking process and turn all veggies. After an hour the veggies should be soft. If not, you may want to bake a little longer. Pull them from the oven and let cool for five minutes and then garnish with extra virgin olive oil and salt if necessary.

Makes a warm, hearty dish.

I'd love to hear any great recipes from you. Also, have you made any health changes that have significantly improved your energy? And are you still doing those things? Let's chat.

Hidden Food Allergies

I saw this over on Oprah's site under causes of fatigue. There were thirteen causes of fatigue that were discussed and one of them really struck me because it has been true for me.

While food is supposed to give us energy, some doctors believe hidden food intolerances—or allergies—can do the opposite. According to Dr. Rudy Rivera, author of Your Hidden Food Allergies Are Making You Fat, even mild food intolerance can leave you feeling sleepy. Eat the offending food long enough, and you could find yourself feeling continually exhausted.

"Evidence indicates food intolerance as a cause of fatigue and even suggests that fatigue may be an early warning sign of food intolerance," Rivera says.

If you suspect that food may be behind all that yawning, Rivera says to start with an elimination diet, cutting out foods that cause you to feel sleepy within 10 to 30 minutes of eating them. You can also talk to your doctor about a food allergy test.

I just want to stop and say, YES!!! I am not crazy or imagining things in my head. There is a reason that my energy has multiplied. There is a reason that this is working for me. I am not imagining these results in my head. I am really not crazy.

It is so nice to not feel alone in all of this. It has worked for someone else too. It makes me very, very grateful.

Food Addiction

In conference this weekend, Elder Robert D. Hales mentioned food addiction in relation to debt. I was so interested that he would recognize food addiction in the long list of other addictions like drugs or money. Here is what he said:

Today, I speak to all whose freedom to choose has been diminished by effects of ill-advised choices of the past. I speak specifically of choices that have led to excessive debt and addictions to food, drugs, pornography and other patterns of thought and action that diminished one's sense of self-worth.

I've been thinking about food addiction and what it is and what it looks like. To me, food addiction looks like a never-ending obsession with food. Where can I get it? How can I get it? How much of it can I consume? What is the soonest possible moment I can consume it? When can I eat again?

Addiction is an ugly monster to house in your closet. It is scary and overwhelming and feels very, very complex.

In seeking to overcome debt and addictive behaviors, we should remember the addiction is a craving of the natural man and can never be satisfied. It is insatiable as an appetite. When we are addicted we seek those worldly possessions or physical pleasures that seem to entice us. But as a child of God our deepest hunger and what we should be seeking for is what the Lord alone can provide: his love, his sense of worth, his security, his confidence, his hope in the future and assurance of his love which brings us eternal joy.

In my life, I've found that food addiction is certainly insatiable. There are so many food triggers that set up a craving that is insatiable. How many times have you opened a bag of chips and not been able to put them down until the whole bag is gone? What about baking a batch of cookies? Did you eat every last one? Have you ever dreamed about a food so intensely that you had to make it and eat as soon as possible?

I don't think it is wrong to dream about food, enjoy food, celebrate food and even immerse ourselves in food and feasting at times. I do know though that addictive eating does not usually come with celebration or joy. Addictive eating for me has occurred most often in secret and most often alone. Addictive eating is caused by and sets off a powerful brew of chemical and biological warfare in your body that feels insurmountable.

I've spent so much of my life wishing to be filled and never quite reaching that place. Have you ever had a full-to-bursting stomach and yet you were still hungry? I have. It is the common predicament in our society of being undernourished but overfed. There is too much food that is simply empty of nutrition but filled with white flour, white sugar and saturated fats. Which one of the many food items you purchase each week is filled with one of those items? For me, it has been too many.

The hopeful thing that I would want to share about food addiction is that I believe it is often misunderstood. I think people who suffer from food addiction know that something very powerful is happening in their bodies but have no idea what set it off or how to shut it down.

That's how I felt at least.

I've had a lead balloon feeling in my stomach from too much food and yet I can't stop my brain from thinking about the next thing I'm going to eat.

I've also had the opposite occur when I ate a whole bunch of broccoli that had been roasted with olive oil and pine nuts. After several bites, I suddenly felt very profoundly full, a condition which was just the opposite of my overfed and undernourished state. Instead, I was fed well and nourished well.

Learning how to nourish the body, feed the soul and shut down the addiction--this has been the scariest, hardest journey in my life.

Changing Routines

I'm mostly interested in writing and talking about health lately. It is an obsession that ebbs and flows in my life and six months from now I may only want to talk about design or counseling or good books. I sometimes feel a bit apologetic writing about health here because it is inexplicably linked to weight in my brain and I set up this blog to explore all the other interests in my life like reading and art and cooking and nature. It was a reminder to myself that I'm a whole, well-rounded (oh my gosh, no pun intended) person and so much more than the obstacle that has often been a thorn in my side. 

Yet, I feel a bit stilted in my writing when I'm thinking nearly nonstop about one topic and trying to write about something else. I think this topic is going to hold court on the blog for a while. I'm also writing this as a warning to myself. I still want this to be a place that explores all of my interests. I just don't want to shut the door on letting health topics in for a visit. 

I'm still going strong on the allergy-free diet. It will be twelve weeks this Monday. We went out to a nice restaurant the other night and I succeeded in navigating all the land mines of gluten-free and dairy-free foods. I've despised being "different" for a long time and when it comes to eating differently than others, I've had a hard time. I'm sure my feelings will go up and down about this for many years. I knew ten years ago that I had some kind of food sensitivity and in my own attempt to diagnose it I spent two years off dairy, sugar and meat. I didn't want to give up my beloved carbs like bread, potatoes, pasta, and crackers but I could certainly live without those other things. My health did improve somewhat but after two years, I told my mom one day I was tired of "not being normal." I hated the disruption that my food limitations caused when I was out with friends or visiting others. I so much wanted my body to act like everyone else's "normal." 

It's only taken me the ensuing decade to figure out that my normal is not other people's normal. 

There are benefits and consequences to both. One benefit for me right now is that I feel amazing. My energy level is unprecedented for me. My stress level is much lower. I seem to have the ability to keep up with busyness of my life. That feels spectacular. 

One downside is convenience. I have to make everything from scratch. Which is great that I'm cooking more, but sometimes more difficult when I wish I could just grab a quick bite somewhere. I'm spending a lot of time cooking and I'm learning the art of doubling recipes and freezing the leftovers. Those freezer meals are especially crucial when I'm busy and tired and don't have time to cook. They keep me plugging along. 

My normal looks different than most people's normal. My kitchen cupboards and my pantry do too. I'm most comfortable right now in my own kitchen where I can use my favorite olive oil, I can always make a fruit smoothie and my stock of dark chocolate is very close by. 

Good food and good meals bind us together when we share them in love and conviviality. I think really what I'm most worried about is missing out on both of those because my food will not always look like my neighbor's. I think that is what drives me to find, make and share food that appeals not only to me but to my neighbor as well. I still have a lot to learn about that. 

Welcome to my new normal. 

How Sweet It Is

I've been trying to get this entry done for a week. I have so much to say about this topic that I find myself writing too much and trying to fit all of my opinions and experiences in to one little post. So, I did my best to stick to the point of the benefits of low-glycemic eating.  

I read a couple of articles the other day from the December 2007 O, The Oprah magazine that I wish had been written when I was a teenager going through the first throes of a body image horror. Not that I would want to promote diet mentality or further push myself into self-loathing, but simply so that as a young girl I could biologically understand MY BODY and why it was so different than everyone around me. 

The articles deal with low-glycemic eating, what it is and how it affects people who are high-insulin responders. 

The first article, "How Sweet It Is" by Nancy Gottesman  shares the example of a woman who started to put on weight when she hit puberty. Insulin is a hormone and as the hormone stew takes off in puberty, high-insulin responders can have a reaction that includes piling on the pounds.

When LeeAnn Henn turned 12, extra pounds almost magically appeared on her frame. "I was always a little chunky," she says, "but right around puberty I put on a lot more. . . Though she tried to cut calories and fat on a number of different diets over the years, the numbers on the scale just kept going up. "I'd eat less, exercise more, get frustrated, then quit," recalls Henn, now 28. "I could never lose much, and over time, I just got heavier."

I was always a little chunky too and found that when puberty hit my weight took off as well. I spent most of my teenage years wishing for a different body. That never happened and gradually I began to learn how to work with the body I was given. 

Also, I REALLY liked the article because of this quote below. I used to get mad when I was younger and people would say that losing weight was as easy as a calorie in and a calorie out. Yet, this was not my experience. I felt like I put on weight whenever I just looked at food compared to someone like my brother Adam who seemed to be able to eat anything and everything and store it in his hollow leg without gaining an ounce. What I didn't know at the time was I was high-insulin responder comparing myself to low-insulin responders. When I ate things like bread, pasta, crackers and fruit juice, I really was putting on weight because of the way my body responded to such foods. Which is why I agree with the statement below. 

[Dr. David Ludwig] is one of a handful of researchers trying to prove that all calories are not, in fact, equal; some of us are genetically programmed to pile on pounds much faster when we eat the wrong type of food, even foods we think of as healthy.

I knew from long experience that a calorie in and a calorie out theory didn't work which is why I would get upset when I heard it repeated over and over. It is so comforting to have that innate belief backed up by hard data. 

An easy way to gauge if you are a high-insulin responder is the example below.

"High-insulin secretors tend to be apples, with more fat around the middle," maintains Ludwig. "Low-insulin secretors tend to be pears."

I never developed broad hips, but I've always had a tummy. And that tummy is the last thing to go when I do lose weight. So, I'm an apple shape for sure. 

The accompanying article then gives some guidelines for what to eat on a low-glycemic diet. First though there is an explanation of the glycemic index. 

The glycemic index (GI) is a ranking of carbohydrate-containing foods on a scale of 0 to 100. The higher the number, the more quickly you'll digest the food and trigger extreme fluctuations in blood sugar. Low scores (55 and lower) mean the food is digested slowly and produces only gradual changes in blood sugar. . . . Ludwig advises that you avoid "eating by the numbers" and instead follow these simple guidelines.

The guidelines are:

1. Eat plenty of fiber-rich vegetables (dark leafy greens—good; corn—not so good), beans (all of them), and fruit (apples, pears, peaches, and berries have a lower GI than tropical fruits, like papaya and mangoes).

2. Limit potatoes to small side dishes.

3. Choose grains in their least processed states. For example, replace refined and white breads with stone-ground whole wheat, sourdough, or pumpernickel. Swap jasmine and arborio rice for basmati, brown, or long grain. Instead of processed cereals like cornflakes and instant oatmeal, stick with old-fashioned oats or cold cereals that have at least four grams of fiber per serving. Ration white-flour sweets like doughnuts and cookies for the occasional treat—there are no healthy substitutes for these!

4. Avoid sugar-sweetened beverages, and drink no more than one cup of 100 percent fruit juice daily.

5. Consume protein and fat at most meals and snacks. Eating a balance of nutrients will help keep your blood sugar steady and your hunger in check. Vegetable and lean animal sources (including dairy) are your best options for protein. Olive oil, nuts, avocados, seeds, and nut butters are healthy fats. Cut back on saturated fats, and banish trans fats completely.

My perception of eating healthy as a young girl was to not eat a lot of treats and to eat less food at each meal. What this led to was a constant battle with hunger and the feeling that if I didn't control my hunger better I was somehow a bad person. Now I understand that when I was eating potatoes and bread and cereals that those foods tend to make me more hungry because they spike my blood sugar--especially when they are eaten alone or without accompanying good fats and lean meats. 

It has been such a relief over the last few years to discover that hunger is a normal, natural state and that feeding that hunger with foods that are low-glycemic is one of the best ways to eat for my body. This is not about depriving my body of any foods--this simply is about learning the balance and learning that eating lean meats, fruits and veggies, and good fats like olive oil and raw nuts as well as whole grains or complex carbs like brown rice, sweet potatoes or butternut squash makes my body feel its very best.

And now, my stomach is grumbling and I wish I'd started dinner an hour ago. At least I know exactly what to eat.  

That Thing I'm Doing

via thenibble.com

So, it's been nearly two months now on the allergy-free diet. I'm still plugging away. Two months without dairy and wheat and sugar.

And I'm actually enjoying myself. I've been cooking a lot and finding new recipes and expanding my tastes and repertoire of meals. 

I know, can you believe it? Someone said to me the other day that I must be pretty committed to this thing to do it. I don't know that it is so much committed as desperate and grateful and a little bit crazy all rolled into one. It is nice to feel better.

I went back to the doctor today. We chatted about the elimination diet and how I was doing. I did complain because I'm supposed to be off all citrus too and I've not been as strict about that one. I really like lemons and limes. I can also turn on some serious whine when something seems particularly hard. Yet I got no love from the doc. She just smiled and said "Do it anyway."

Okay, then.

The next question was "how much longer?" Oh, three or four months was the answer. Then likely another allergy/sensitivity test to determine the next step.

Gulp. Three or four months? Are you crazy? Am I?

I guess so. And here we go again.

Then just to keep it real, I came home and made some chocolate hazelnut spread to make it very clear that despite the challenge of this experience, I'm so happy that chocolate--really, really, really good dark chocolate--is what is keeping me sane. Thank you, Universe, that I didn't test allergic to that.

What to Write

I'm writing this very late or rather awfully early--whichever way you want to look at it. Let's just say the clock is well past midnight and I seem to have the rare courage that possesses only drunks and lunatics at this time of day. And since I can't distinguish between a beer or a brandy, I can only ascribe my current headspace to the particular illogic that possesses those who know, use and can explain the difference between pyschiatry and psychology and make sense of either.

In a word: I simply can't define myself to one word when more than one word is needed to explain my dilemma.

I don't know what to write.

Okay, that's not true either. I know what to write: write what is in your heart, write what is on your mind, write on a topic given to you by editors who also hand you a deadline. Just write.

I've written here. On several topics ranging from Sunday afternoons to family celebrations to personal philosophies. I've written on rearranging my living room to natural childbirth to my favorite new dishes. I've even subjected my readers to the nightmare pseudo-reality of a fateful dinner party and to rants regarding my mullet-like lawn.

What I haven't felt is a lot of focus about what to write. Especially on any topic that doesn't deal with my health, food, or my job. These topics seem to be on my mind all the time right now. 

I started this blog because I wanted a place to develop my writing, share thoughts about my life and get my design on. I'd like to believe that this is my creativity corner in blogosphere where I get artsy and craftsy and get the juices flowing. It is the place where I write about anything and everything that doesn't have to do with health. 

Why anything but health? Because health is what I think about constantly. It is my passion, my hobby, my love, my constant thought process. I'm always interested in health. 

I also have always struggled with my weight. It has been a constant challenge in my life since I was nine years old and went on my first diet. It will likely be a struggle I deal with the rest of my life. 

It is the reason I'm so interested in health too. I'm looking for answers. 

I've learned a lot in that process of searching for answers. Things that I never expected to learn, things I didn't necessarily want to learn either. But I've learned. 

And one thing that I've learned is that it is okay to be interested in health--fascinated by it, really--and struggle with my weight. That's a conundrum that will likely accompany me for a long, long time. 

Which is also why I don't like to write about it here often. It consumes so much of my life and my thoughts that it is a blog all on its own. What I want to write about here are the other things that make me laugh and make me cry and make me joyful. Because despite the fact that I'm interested in all things health, it some times turns into an obsession that really is not all that healthy. 

Not that healthy at all. Which is likely something I should write about too. 

I Really Can't Say

I have lots to say or lots to write. I just don't want to say any of it and jinx myself out of action at the moment. What action, you ask? I will tell you in a minute. In the meantime, 

I don't want to say:

• That I have a cold right now and have played the dramatic heroine to a fault for the last 24 hours--lying around on my couch, moaning piteously, crying abruptly and generally making myself even more miserable than necessary. 
• That I inherited said cold from one of the 32 relatives I just spent the weekend holed up with on our annual "cabin trip." Late-night movies, constant snacking, and too little sleep. And let me tell you, a roaring chest cold was worth the fun. 
• That my family has a love of nicknames that is unparalleled. And I made a list this weekend of a few that are used with wild abandon: Chardo, Clinny, Dude, Speed, Fatty, Jamie Jr., Snockley, Spook, Jorgito, Buggy, Rosen, Berfie, Dauwwin, Ruby, Bubba and SuperMave. And that's just a few. Now, can you guess which one is mine? 
• That my great, big, fat surprise is about to be unveiled. Except no one will really think it was such a surprise. Or that it is was so big. But let's just say it was a herculean effort for me. 
• That I really did stick to this allergy diet (remember no wheat, dairy, sugar, preservatives, peanuts, soy, corn or citrus--in case I haven't trumpeted that list enough yet) for the entire trip despite feeling magnetically drawn towards every can of Pringles and willing to make an unholy alliance with the Swedish fish. I didn't resist either. I just promised a future play date. 
• That despite all of my efforts to abstain, when I purchased some "all-natural" cough drops in the valley of my cold-induced zombie state yesterday, I thought I purchased the no-sugar ones. Only to suck down the entire bag in 18 hours and then discover that the number one ingredient on the bag: sugar. I'm hoping we can just pretend the little blip doesn't count against me on the two-month allergy-free diet thingy.
• That I really did have a genuine "fat" moment in the health food store the other day when I was hunting down some wheat-free bread. One sweet little Scottish lady started talking to me about her own search for the perfect gluten-free bread (she has celiac disease) and I was feeling the love and the sisterhood for a few minutes only for her to veer the conversation into how much weight I will lose if I stick with it and then I sat frozen in time for the next ten minutes while she waxed rhapsodic about how she lost 30 pounds and it CHANGED HER LIFE and I will obviously lose vast amounts of weight too. Which means she totally understands the boat I'm in and how my life WILL CHANGE FOREVER too. Needless, to say I took my little cruise-ship self and sailed as far away from her as I could all the while wishing desperately that I had retrofitted myself with weapons of mass destruction and could blow her little rowboat out of the water. 
• That my experiment in making olive cheese bread with brown rice flour bread and almond cheese did not equal the delights promised by the photo. And on to the next cooking adventure. 
• That a once-in-a-lifetime event did occur this past Sunday. My parents were treated to instrumental heaven when each of their eight children came together to a perform a song in their honor on the instruments we had learned in childhood: a tenor sax, a trumpet, an alto sax, a flute, 2 guitars, the piano and a violin. It lasted about two minutes and my mother was beaming the rest of the day. I think she realized that not every penny they spent on music lessons had been wasted. At least not if we could put that kind of smile on her face fifteen years later. 
• That my father is a true romantic. When I assisted him in ordering flowers for his and my mother's anniversary, he nearly gasped when I quoted him the price for 40 roses. And I had tried to dampen the blow by underestimating the cost. Yet, despite the gasp and the almost auditory scraping of his economic bones together, all that came out of his mouth was "Your mother is worth every penny." And my heart sang with renewed hope in true love that day. 
• That my gorgeous mother and my excellent father celebrated 40 years of marriage this past weekend. And we are the lucky, lucky fruit of that blessed union. 
• That I have very big test this week. And lots more studying to do. 
• That I've probably said too much already and should be in bed. Especially with this cold. 
• That having such a cold really does garner some great sympathy when you speak with a raspy, whispery voice, cough repeatedly and sneeze gratuitously on anyone within spitting distance. People leave you alone in such a condition. You can really get a lot of work done when they do that. 

So, what is the action I don't want to jinx myself out of that I referred to waaaaaay back at the beginning of this post? An action, I'm afraid my readers may have suspected would never materialize: A return to the Denmark posts! Yes, every excruciating detail and inside joke is about to be yours for the small price of waiting sooooo long for me to resume the story. You too can join in while my wild and wooly clan traverses the kingdom of the Danes and experiences this coastal, green, magical land for the first time. 

Day 5 is coming! 

Just one little caveat. As if there haven't been enough so far. First it was school, then my birthday, then my house was a mess, then I had a nervous breakdown, then I wanted to quit my job, then it was the day after my birthday, then I barely survived the one-two punch of finals and Christmas, then it was after Christmas, then I had to start this allergy-free thing, then I had to plan for the cabin trip and on and on and on. 

But I really do have a caveat despite all the previous excuses I have come up with. The test this week. I may not publish Day 5 until that is completed. If I don't, then you know I'm just acting the part of busy little beaver and trying to stay on task with my test (cross your fingers and your toes for that one) or if I do post Day 5 before this weekend you will know that I'm doing everything in my power to avoid studying for that test. And nothing takes up my time like combing minutely over a big blog post from the Denmark trip. 

So, to get you all fired up for the return of the Denmark Chronicles, here are the first four days for your perusing pleasure:

Day 1: Traveling
Day 2: Tivoli Gardens
Day 3: Copenhagen
Day 4: Part 1: Copenhagen Temple
Day 4: Part 2: Danish Saints

See you soon! And remember to cross your fingers and toes for one busy little beaver. 

RECIPE: Smoked Paprika Almonds

The allergy-free diet has been going strong for a week now. While I'm pleased as punch about this week, I'm even more interested to see how week 18, 19 and 20 develop simply because I'd like to have jumped all the hurdles I'm going to have to jump through to actually arrive at those weeks. In other words, mama wants to know if she can make it that long. 

It has by no means been a obstacle-free week. For example: 

• opened and used a can of black beans and then looked a the label only to discover that it contained sugar. I like to think I'm a pretty consistent label reader but this one caught me totally off guard. Why is sugar added to beans? 
• foraging after a party at the parents' house this weekend and took a big old bite of flank steak only to realize within seconds that it had been marinated in soy sauce (contains wheat); that didn't stop me from taking 3 or 4 more bites; it took me that long to wrestle myself away from it. 
• could not eat my smoked paprika chicken without what I call special sauce (mayo, ketchup, dijon mustard) and said a fond farewell to ketchup (contains sugar) as a part of that mix; know that I will be experimenting with making my own ketchup just so I can keep making the special sauce.

Thank goodness in all of this for Elana over at elanaspantry.com. She's been keeping me sane. She's also been keeping me cooking. In the last few days, I've made her chocolate chip cookies, her almond butter blondies, her cod piccata, and her smoked paprika almonds. All were yummy, but the smoked paprika almonds were fragrant and smoky and hot. I tested them out on Meg's clan and got rave reviews. 

I modified the recipe a bit because I'm not a spicy hot fan. You should know though that any recipe that starts with fresh garlic and smoked paprika is going good places. 

Smoked Paprika Almonds 

from Elana at elanaspantry.com

2 tablespoons olive oil

2 cloves garlic

3 cups raw almonds

2 teaspoons smoked paprika

1 teaspoon celtic sea salt

1. Heat the olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat

2. Add garlic to the skillet and saute for 3-5 minutes, until the garlic is almost brown

3. Add smoked paprika and salt and stir to make a paste

4. Add the almonds and stir constantly until they are thoroughly coated

5. Continue toasting almonds in the skillet until they are fragrant, about 5 minutes

6. Remove from heat and allow the nuts to cool in the pan

7. Serve

They actually made me think of popcorn too. There was this delicious, toasty smell wafting through my house the rest of the night and I ate more almonds than should likely be consumed in one four-hour period. 

Easy, fast and you may not be able to stop at just one!

What's for Dinner Now?

I'm doing an allergy-elimination diet for the next two months on my doctor's recommendation. I got tested for some food allergies/intolerances and it came up with a long and lovely list of potential baddies that I get to now abstain from for the next several weeks. The doc said to try it for two to six months but I say let's begin at the beginning and see where I land after eight or nine weeks.

That list of baddies includes: wheat, oats, soy, corn, peanuts, cane sugar, beet sugar, high-fructose corn syrup, MSG, preservatives and all dairy--you know, milk, cheese,  yogurt and the like.  

My response to all the good news? 

Is water the only thing left? 

I've done deprivation before and deprivation and I, well, we don't tango. I cry "uncle" when the going gets tough. I just don't like the restrictions. You even mention the word diet around here and I plunge myself head first into a vat of milk chocolate and swim for my life. 

So, here am I. Holding myself back from the edge of chocolate nirvana and attempting to eliminate all these foods for a few weeks. 

At the end of two months, I get to pick one eliminated food item and add it back into my diet for a day and then I get to wait three more days to see if I have any negative reactions to it. If not, then the food is considered okay. If I do have a reaction to it, then that food stays on the baddie list. Then I repeat that cycle for each food item. 

So, excuse me if I moan and whine and kick the floor a bit as I do this thing for the next few weeks. It's really not so bad, right? I get to eat as many veggies as I want. I get to eat almost every fruit on the planet. And chicken, fish, turkey and steak are all just fine. It's really just anything that comes in a box, bag, package, wrapper, container, can, bottle or drive-thru window that I need to stay away from. Which is really what I should be doing anyway. 

So good bye for now pb&j sandwiches, popcorn, tortillas, cheese, yogurt, chips, candy, dessert, bread, pasta, crackers, soymilk and oatmeal. Parting is such sweet sorrow. May it be but a short separation. Or if not, may I take it with good grace and a smile. 

Or if not, can I least figure out what to make for dinner and may it be goooooood. 

Tidbits and Teasers

Here are some things I came across in the last few days that I've either just enjoyed or they have made me think.

CJane's latest entry about her sister NieNie. If you've been following this story, like me, you will know that CJane (Courtney) took over her sister's blog, the NieNie Dialogues, this past summer when NieNie and her husband were severely injured in a plane crash. Before that Courtney had been writing about her struggles with infertility. She's gained quite a readership in the process of both of these stories. In this latest entry she addresses the evolution of her blog and how she began writing for her sister when NieNie was so badly injured. Then Courtney shares the exciting news that her sister is ready to take over her own blog again next week and begin telling her story now after the accident. I think it is a sweet, tender piece about the love between sisters and how no matter the cost, we do whatever we can when someone we love is hurting.

DietGirl's guest post on Refuse to Regain. Shauna Reid from Diet Girl started an extraordinary journey in 2001 when she began to lose weight. Over the period of four or five years, Shauna chronicled that journey on her blog as she proceeded to lose over half her body weight or a total of 175 pounds. She was one of the first famous weight loss bloggers and she ended up writing a book about her story. She's an Aussie girl living in Scotland and I love her use of terms like "knackered" and "mucking" and "wobbly bits." And while I enjoy Shauna's writing, this guest post about the reality of maintenance has got to be one of the most valuable pieces I've ever read. So many people out there are writing about the process of losing weight, but very few of them are dealing with the harsh realities once the euphoria of the weight loss wore off. Shauna addresses the realities. This is exactly the kind of stuff I've been wanting to read. I lost a bunch of weight three years ago and then a year later I regained all of it. I've been a bit gun-shy since then because I don't want to repeat the emotional fall-out I experienced on that journey. Shauna is the first sensible voice I've heard with regards to the long-term journey.

Science Friday podcast on how to stick to New Year's resolutions. They interview psychologist John Norcross who talks about how to succeed with New Year's resolutions. I think the podcast is excellent alone for the tidbit that 71% of people will succeed with their resolution if they report at least three times to a friend or family member regarding their goal. Dr. Norcross has other ideas and insights about how to really attain your resolutions this year.

Just a little inspiration for your Friday. I know they all lent me some insight.