Changing Routines

I'm mostly interested in writing and talking about health lately. It is an obsession that ebbs and flows in my life and six months from now I may only want to talk about design or counseling or good books. I sometimes feel a bit apologetic writing about health here because it is inexplicably linked to weight in my brain and I set up this blog to explore all the other interests in my life like reading and art and cooking and nature. It was a reminder to myself that I'm a whole, well-rounded (oh my gosh, no pun intended) person and so much more than the obstacle that has often been a thorn in my side. 

Yet, I feel a bit stilted in my writing when I'm thinking nearly nonstop about one topic and trying to write about something else. I think this topic is going to hold court on the blog for a while. I'm also writing this as a warning to myself. I still want this to be a place that explores all of my interests. I just don't want to shut the door on letting health topics in for a visit. 

I'm still going strong on the allergy-free diet. It will be twelve weeks this Monday. We went out to a nice restaurant the other night and I succeeded in navigating all the land mines of gluten-free and dairy-free foods. I've despised being "different" for a long time and when it comes to eating differently than others, I've had a hard time. I'm sure my feelings will go up and down about this for many years. I knew ten years ago that I had some kind of food sensitivity and in my own attempt to diagnose it I spent two years off dairy, sugar and meat. I didn't want to give up my beloved carbs like bread, potatoes, pasta, and crackers but I could certainly live without those other things. My health did improve somewhat but after two years, I told my mom one day I was tired of "not being normal." I hated the disruption that my food limitations caused when I was out with friends or visiting others. I so much wanted my body to act like everyone else's "normal." 

It's only taken me the ensuing decade to figure out that my normal is not other people's normal. 

There are benefits and consequences to both. One benefit for me right now is that I feel amazing. My energy level is unprecedented for me. My stress level is much lower. I seem to have the ability to keep up with busyness of my life. That feels spectacular. 

One downside is convenience. I have to make everything from scratch. Which is great that I'm cooking more, but sometimes more difficult when I wish I could just grab a quick bite somewhere. I'm spending a lot of time cooking and I'm learning the art of doubling recipes and freezing the leftovers. Those freezer meals are especially crucial when I'm busy and tired and don't have time to cook. They keep me plugging along. 

My normal looks different than most people's normal. My kitchen cupboards and my pantry do too. I'm most comfortable right now in my own kitchen where I can use my favorite olive oil, I can always make a fruit smoothie and my stock of dark chocolate is very close by. 

Good food and good meals bind us together when we share them in love and conviviality. I think really what I'm most worried about is missing out on both of those because my food will not always look like my neighbor's. I think that is what drives me to find, make and share food that appeals not only to me but to my neighbor as well. I still have a lot to learn about that. 

Welcome to my new normal.